Well most of the time, I am a
1.) The tween wanted to wear a tank top and shorts to school
Me: Umm, no you aren't wearing that
Tween: Why, is it cold?
Me: Yea its 40 degrees
Tween: That's not cold, you are just old
Me: Ok, please feel free to turn every shade of blue imaginable, but don't think you are wearing a coat over that pretty pink tank top
Tween: You are so unfair
Me: Yes, I know.
2) The littlest spawn wants to be Superman, of course to acquire superhero status it means you must jump from the railing of the top bunk onto the floor below
Me: DO NOT JUMP OFF OF THAT!
Tiny Spawn: I want to be a stooper hero, I want to be stooper man... I jump
Me: You do NOT jump, you can't be a super hero with a broken neck
Tiny spawn: I promise I won't break my neck and die momma, I'll just break my arm
Me: (stifling giggles) there will be no broken bones tonight, I am too lazy to sit in the ER get down now.
Tiny Spawn: I don't need the ER momma, member I am a stooper hero.
Tween: It's not bedtime
Me: Yes, it is, and don't let your little brother hear you say that
Tween: It isn't bed time for another hour
Me: What part of don't let your brother hear you say "It's not bedtime" did you not understand
Tiny Spawn: It's not bedtime! It's not bedtime!
Me: See what you did, I am tired, it's bedtime...
Tween: Huh? (really do aliens take kids brain when they turn 12 or what?)
Tiny Spawn: You said it's not bedtime momma
Me: Would you just go to bed?!?
Tiny Spawn: Good night momma, I love you so much
Me: Good Night tiny spawn I love you so much too
Me: lights out
Tween: OMG! Ugh!
There you have it, three prime examples of why I am the absolute worstest mommy ever. I crush my children's dreams of being blue skinned Eskimos, and stooper heroes, AND I make them go to bed... *gasp* EARLY! What kind of heartless, unfair mom am I? Would it be horrible to admit that tonight I am a bit relieved to have the bad mom award (yes, even though the tween is no longer speaking to me) because it means silence, and today silence is golden. So, I think that I will bask in the glory of my bad mommy award and perhaps even celebrate with a long hot shower, and an early bed time, this time for me.