Honestly my vision for my grown up self was MUCH different than my current reality. I envisioned a big house with a picket fence, in ground pool, fancy car, kick ass job, two (yes only two) incredibly cute and well behaved kids... The list goes on, but mostly I never imagined that struggle that real life would present.
At 15 the words "I can't wait to grow up" we're spewed from my mouth at least a million times daily. Didn't want to clean my room? Well I couldn't wait to grow up so I would never have to clean ( that's a riot) .... Now though, I would give anything to change places with my 15 year old self, the person I was before kids, before marriage, before life happened.
Of course there is no way to change the past, but thinking back to the carefree dream filled teenager I was, made me realize that if I had known then, what I know now, maybe things would have been different, maybe I would have made better choices... So I started to write a letter to my 15 year old self to tell me all about my life now and how things were going to change, but then I realized... I really WOULDN'T change a thing!
Yes it is true that my life is nothing like I thought it would be, but somehow my life has gone exactly the way it was supposed to, because of the life I have lived I became the person I am today, and although I have my days (don't we all) I think I like me.
Sure, there are times that the struggles seem to be without a doubt too much to handle, but somehow I have managed to stay afloat. There are times when the sunshine (or proverbial silver lining) seems to get lost in the rain, but I am still holding on and going strong. I have stood strong through many challenges that would make other crumble... I guess you could say that not only I have recently learned to appreciate the storms, I have learned to embrace them, and now instead of looking back and pondering the "what if" I will spend my days dancing in the rain!
By the way it is currently pouring in Oklahoma... Would anyone like to dance?