Sunday, May 26, 2013

Tell them no... I promise it won't kill them...



Recently I was browsing facebook (as I tend to do for mind numbing endless hours each day) and stumbled across an article entitled "Why French kids DON'T have ADHD "  of course being ever so mildly wildly ADD myself, I thought "You mean if I were French, I could pay better attention to things, and not be so easily distracted? I got to read this!"

So I began reading and within the first few sentences, my simple mind was all "yawn, can we do something else now?" Then  something caught my eye. Did you know that in America 9% of all school aged children are diagnosed with AND medicated for ADHD, yet in France there are less than .5% diagnosed and even fewer medicated... What the?? I think maybe I should have been French.

Now I am sure a lot of you are already making your assumptions, you are blaming this on our government, vaccinations, school programs, etc... But wait! Because according to this article, we as parents have absolutely no one to blame, but OURSELVES. Can you believe it? We as parent actually have no one else to blame for this, we must take responsibility into our own hands YIKES!

That's a scary thought isn't it? I mean if there is no one else to blame, then that must mean that as parents, are single handily responsible for screwing up our own spawn without the help of anyone else. Imagine the horror in being forced to admit our own short comings as parents GASP!!!

Of course, this is NOT me trying to say that I am better than any other parent, because according to this article, my kids should be about as spastic, and misbehaved as they come, and trust me when I say that at times... umm... yeah... THEY ARE!

But there were a few points in this article that really made me stop and go hmmm, not necessarily at others parenting skills, but more than anything at my own... Honestly I don't believe I am in line for the worst mom ever award, but I also know that there is no way any award team will be showing up at my door with a Mother of the year award any time soon either.

Out of all the interesting facts about our fast food dieting, lax parenting, and medicated kids that were presented, the one that got the old hamster wheel turning the most, was that Americans have a much different view on child rearing. You see, it would appear that us American parents have become a bit too lax in providing our children with a firm structure... Sadly, many of us American parents have become softies spoiling our children and caving to nearly every want. We have done away with spankings and the word NO, and because of this our children (mine included) are slowly becoming uncontroable, brats with no boundaries -- French parents believe that hearing the word "no" rescues children from the "tyranny of their own desires." And spanking, when used judiciously, is not considered child abuse in France --  Ouch! I must say that stings just a little.

Of course I have always been a pretty big advocate for spanking (I know, you aren't) but from spawn #1 to spawn #4 my own parenting skills have become more lax, and I am without a doubt guilty of caving in and letting baby spawn have a snack 30 minutes before dinner - what?!? You haven't seen his fits, award winning I swear! - but I still firmly believe in the word no... Does that mean I use it enough? Well, probably not, I guess like many other American moms I have been more concerned about being their friend. Of course my kids have some how managed to be pretty great kids and amazing students, but their attitudes... YIKES!!!

Perhaps that is one problem here in America? Many children were never told No, while growing up and therefore grow to become butt head adults who feel like they have some sort of narcissistic entitlement. Wow! I guess, that means that for me personally I better get a little better at saying NO, and sticking to it, because ..... Well I just don't want out of control, over medicated spawn who feel that they are entitled to the world. Of course, you as a parent are entitled to your own views on raising your kids, but remember the rest of the world has to deal with them when you are finished, so try telling them no every once in awhile, I promise it won't kill them... Besides, who wants to live in a world over run with spoiled butt heads??? Umm... yea... NOT me!

Have a good day bloggyland, and by the way ... NO! you can not have a cookie before dinner : )



13 comments:

  1. I have to agree with the article. I grew up with my parents saying and spankings and too be honest I feel that I grew up pretty well. I was never abused but having my parents say no and actually follow through with a punishment did make me feel there was structure and bounderies.

    It seems like these days, parents in the states are just so afraid of thier kids that they cater to everything for them.

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    1. I also grew up with my fair share of spankings and heard the word no often. I didn't realize it as a kid, but as an adult I realize that these things were done because my parents cared. These days the world fills our kids full of bologna that states if you are spanked then your parents don't love you, and many times spanking is seen as abuse. It's sad and unfortunate but true : (

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  2. "Parents in the states," think too much of themselves and take it out on their children.

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    1. I don't think they necessairly think too much of themselves, although many probably do. I think it is more that parents in the states have become lazy because it is easier to give in, then to be strong and firm.

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    2. I think it's both. It is easier to give in, but parents at my job act as if they've given birth to prodigies. Prodigies aren't born to average Joe's (at least in their minds). And they treat their kids as if they are prodigies, which can make for spoiled children, just as much, if not more than not saying, "No." Scientific American just published a study about how people generally think they're better than they actually are and I think it's true.

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  3. No never hurt anyone and spankings haven't either. This article is pretty interesting. Personally, I think it's easier to medicate that is why so many of our children are diagnosis with ADHD, ADD etc; the problem with that is many of them are only lacking discipline not a short attention span.
    Jae Mac, I'm Just Sayin'...(Damn!)

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    1. Yes!!! Many kids are greatly lacking discipline! Sadly America has become a place where it is abuse if your child is spanked and they are neglected if told no. I often here myself telling my own children (and others) that they should be glad that they weren't growing up when I did. Ugh!

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  4. Love your post! I'm a NO mom and my kids have learned to appreciate things. Although, I have to admit, with my 19 month old, I give in a little more. Wishing you a happy Memorial Day!

    Melissa
    http://www.melissaproductions.com
    http://facebook.com/melissaproductions

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    1. That is my biggest down fall, with my 3 year old I cave more than I should, and honestly I caved a lot when they were all little. However, I am a no mom and I try hard to make sure my kids appreciate everything they have instead of just being handed everything they want.

      Happy Memorial Day to you as well!

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  5. There is nothing wrong with a spanking here or there... it really depends on the circumstances.

    And "NO" is a word that should be used... on the REGULAR with children.

    Make them earn things, respect what they have...

    Great Post!

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    1. Thank you,
      No is a word the is used frequently in my home, but unfortunately it is not always easy to stick to...

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  6. I've often pondered on the differences in American parents and other countries. Americans have some very strange ways of doing things, and we tend to either be ultra competitive about it all, or we blow off everyone else because we're sure we're doing it absolutely perfectly. I have no problem saying no, but I do ride the fence on the spanking thing, only because I have found my daughter slapping her own hand when she gets riled up. I just don't want her to think violence is okay, or that hitting is somehow what she deserves. Dunno. Did I mention I might tend to over analyze?

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    1. You sound a lot like me, honestly I over analyze pretty much every thing but really I think it's ok to over analyze especially when kids are involved

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