Well, it is 1:30 am and I was finally giving in and heading to toss and turn in my bed when the winds pick up to 80 mph, the rain starting pouring down, and the electricity started to flicker. So, I decided since I am undoubtedly going to be awake for a bit longer, maybe I should take the time to write a little. I mean it has been over a year, and my post from earlier tonight was a little generic (even for me).
So where to start, I guess I will start with the weather. I mean even despite all the flooding, tornados, storms and constant rain, right now it somehow seems a bit more cheerful than the medical stuff I have been dealing with. It has literally rained/stormed here every single day for over a month now. Ok, so Oklahoma is tornado alley, and Spring time around here is always a bit crazy, but this weather has been insane even for Oklahoma. I am generally not one to complain about the rain too much, but by this point I believe I can say with complete honesty that I am sick of the rain and would love a break. It is officially Summer break after all and we can't even go outside due to our front yard being a lake.
Now for the medical stuff... Well, you would think that after a person is handed the cancer card that they have dealt with their share of medical issues and should be reasonably healthy for the rest of their life. I mean that would be the fair thing. However, life is rarely if ever fair, and because of that, I have recently been oh so fortunate to be diagnosed with another list of medical issues, unfortunately all three are chronic illnesses with no cure which means not only do they totally suck, there is absolutely no escaping their prison for the rest of my life. I was recently diagnosed with Lupus with secondary Sjogrens syndrome and Fibromyalgia. These diagnosis' have meant major life changes as well as a medicine cabinet which looks much like my own personal pharmacy. I was also started on this "wonderful" (yes that is definitely sarcasm) medication called Methotrexate. This is a medication I am taking to suppress my immune system which is so awesome it is beating itself up. This medication is just such a pure joy to take and has so many wonderful side effects including, swelling, nausea, exhaustion, mouth sores, hair loss, etc.... Oh did I mention it is a form of chemotherapy? So take a stab at guessing how wonderful it is, and I am so lucky I get to take it at least once a week for the rest of my life.
Needless to say since this has now become a permanent part of my life chronic illness will likely be added to the list of crazy and insane things I write about. I am sure that once I get over the shock and anger (my diagnosis is only a few weeks old) I will be able to find the silver lining and humor in this situation too. I am hopeful that once I get back into the groove my writing will once again begin to improve and people will once again want to read.
I once had a dream that my blog would become incredibly popular, and would be one of those viral blogs that everyone knows about, but I have given up that dream. Life has a way of showing you what is realistic and what really isn't. My dream is a bit more simple now, and all I really hope for is that some how, some way in all that I have been through in my life I can inspire someone else. I hope to show someone some where that if I can do it, so can they.
Well it looks like the storm may potentially be calming here, and since morning comes in approximately three hours I should likely plug in the computer and head to bed. Tomorrow is a chemo (Methotrexate) day anyhow, so I might as well sleep while I am able.
I am however really glad to be back to writing and hopefully soon I will be back to reading soon. I have so dearly missed the blogging community as well as the freedom that finds me when I write.